Don't Mess With Bober

Have you ever wanted to take a vacation at a cabin in the woods? Of course not, because you’ve seen The Evil Dead, Friday the 13th, Cabin Fever and countless other movies warning you to never, EVER shack up in the middle of nowhere. Take a cruise or plan a trip to Disneyland, places where nothing bad ever happens. Apparently, the hero of Don’t Mess With Bober isn’t a big cinephile, because he’s about to have one of those ‘cabin in the woods’ experiences that you normally only see in low-budget horror films. Grab a flashlight and run away from the woods as fast as possible, because this is my review of Don’t Mess with Bober.

You play an overworked everyman who escapes the big city in favor of a small cabin in the middle of nowhere that his buddy owns. It’s the perfect spot to just unwind, maybe do some fishing, and just get away from the drama back at home. Who cares that he has to pick up a little trash and tidy up the place, because nothing is going to ruin this relaxing vacation is going to be perfect. At least, it was perfect until he accidentally destroyed a beaver dam and made a lifelong enemy out of Bober.

This is a fairly cheap, bite-sized horror game inspired by a lot of the 1980s movies I mentioned at the top. It’s the kind of game that you’ll have no problem beating in an hour or so, with some playthroughs lasting only thirty or fourty minutes. It’s purposely cheesy with its tongue in cheek delivery, but as the tension builds, the game delivers a few genuine jumps.

What impressed me early on is how quickly the game shifts from one location to another. I was sure that we would be sticking around that cabin for a while, but we’re quickly whisked away to the underground tunnels, which helps to open up the lore and create a real mystery about a bunch of missing people who were last seen going into the woods.

For the most part, I was really into the first half of the game. There are no real puzzles to solve and most of the tasks made sense and, most importantly, kept the story moving. Where all this falls apart is the moment you get to the lumberyard. This is where Don’t Mess with Bober suddenly turns into a stealth game, where you’re forced to run around a large area collecting items and turning on breakers, all while avoiding a giant beaver.

This part ends up standing out because it’s basically the only challenging part of the game. It wouldn’t surprise me if you end up having to replay the lengthy sequence a bunch of times, due mostly to the frustrating beaver A.I. The beast is too fast and has no problem picking up your scent. I found that this bit was more about trial and error than actual skill, and it really does bring the otherwise brisk pacing down to a crawl.

Unfortunately, Don’t Mess with Bober never recovers from this speedbump. It also doesn’t really amount to much. The lore is there more for decoration than to actually expand the story, and I doubt anybody is going to come away completely satisfied from this all-too-brief adventure. It feels more like a tech demo designed to set up a full-sized game, especially when you see the cliffhanger ending. There’s room in this industry for this type of bite-sized experience, but ten dollars seems a bit steep for what little you get.

There are other problems, especially when it comes to the clunky controls. Moving around is easy enough, but interacting with the environment is a nightmare. With no cursor on screen, picking up items is a real challenge. Every time I found one of the ten hidden collectibles, I would spend a few seconds fumbling around looking for the icon that allowed me to pick it up. This only gets worse when you’re being stalked by a giant beaver and the buttons aren’t working right. It shouldn’t be this hard to pick up items.

From a presentation standpoint, Don’t Mess with Bober looks ... fine. The first half certainly has more to look at, and I like the cabin and the look of the surrounding area. The late game stuff is mostly blanketed in shadows and repeating objects. It doesn’t have a unique style or personality, which is especially disappointing given that it was influenced by movies that were mostly propped up on their style and personality.

I keep coming back to the length and the price. At ten dollars, I think most people will expect a larger, more fleshed out experience. There are far better and deeper horror games for a fraction of this price, some of which will actually leave a real impression. I’m excited to see what this young developer does next, but this cabin in the woods is certainly not worth the trip.