This Week in Defunct Games - November 1, 2007

What Is It? Simon's Quest is the disastrous sequel to one of the greatest 2D side-scrolling action games of all time. This is the game that could have easily put a stake through Konami's franchise once and for all, but thankfully somebody was able to save the sinking ship with the release of Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse (which, sadly, we don't get this week). But before we're given the opportunity to enjoy an actual good Castlevania game, apparently we need to play through the rejects. On the surface Simon's Quest looks like all the other 8-bit Castlevania games, but if you look closer you'll see that this something far more sinister (and not in that good kind of way). For starters this Castlevania is not level-based; instead everything is connected together by forests and underground passages. While this works in some of the newer Castlevania games, here it's just a pain to get from one place to another. Worse yet is the fact that the towns people seem to go out of their way to give you wrong information. The biggest problem with Simon's Quest is that the puzzles are frustratingly random, and it's no fun to have to decide which townspeople are telling the truth and which are trying to send you in the wrong direction. Couple that with some terrible level designs, a control scheme that feels clunky by today's standards, relentless enemies and a complete lack of a coherent vision and you have one of the biggest disasters in video game history.

Does It Still Hold Up? How can I possibly answer that, it never held up in the first place. Simon's Quest is a giant step back from the amazing original Castlevania, still one of the best games of all time. There are a few innovative ideas found in Simon's outing (such as an interesting clock that had both night and day enemies), but don't confuse innovation with quality.

Is It Worth The Money? I know it's tempting to want to buy Castlevania II: Simon's Quest; after all, everybody has such fond memories of this franchise. But don't do it, don't put down money for Simon's Quest. It's always fun to reminisce about how great it was years ago, but Castlevania II is like that ugly girl you dated for a week that broke up with you and told everybody you were gay. You may have gotten her out of your life, but all it takes is a brief second to open the floodgates and remind you of how bad it used to be. I don't usually make judgment calls, but you're a sucker if you buy Simon's Quest (no pun intended).

What Is It? Finally, a Neo Geo game worth buying on the Virtual Console! Magician Lord is one of the very first Neo Geo games released in the U.S. Chances are if you went to the arcades in the 1990s you probably saw this along with a half dozen other Neo Geo games all in one cabinet. But unlike Fatal Fury, World Heroes and Art of Fighting (three games released a couple weeks ago on the Virtual Console), Magician Lord is a 2D action game that has nothing to do with fighting. Oh, and it's actually pretty good. But be warned, Magician Lord may be a lot of things, but it's not easy. This is the kind of game where it's up to you to learn each level and understand where the enemies come from, that way you might actually stand a chance when trying to complete this epic action game. Thankfully you won't have to waste a thousand quarters trying to get to the end, instead you can buy this game for $9 and own it for life (or at least the life of the Wii). The game is full of interesting enemies and some pretty cool bosses, but the real charm is the character himself. Not only does this guy sport a fashionable blue witch outfit, but you can also turn into a crazy green samurai, Shinobi, or a dragon warrior. If that doesn't scream must-own nothing will. But all joking aside, Magician Lord is a great first-generation Neo Geo game and one a title you should seriously consider downloading on the Virtual Console.

Does It Still Hold Up? Let me just get one thing out of the way, despite the fact that I enjoy this game and am recommending it, I can't overlook how crummy Magician Lord's level designs are. I should also note that some of the gameplay mechanics are kind of sluggish and that every element of this game has been done better by some other 2D action game. Having said all that, I'm fully prepared to tell you to buy the game. Sure the game doesn't hold up as well as Gunstar Heroes or Landstalker, but it's a 2D action game that very few people have played ... and the sum of its parts can make up for a game that is lacking in some ways.

Is It Worth The Money? While $9 may seem a bit steep, don't forget that the game cost $200 when it was first released back in 1991. And $200 from 16 years ago is actually more like $300 now (given inflation). I bet that $9 doesn't seem like too much money now, does it? Regardless of the cost, this is a solid title that is worth checking out. The game still looks good and it's fun to see early Neo Geo games that weren't Street Fighter clones. If you've been waiting for a Neo Geo game to buy on the Virtual Console, Magician Lord is the one to get.

What Is It? You might think that a game about a ghost who just so happens to be a samurai would be cool, but you would be wrong. Samurai Ghost feels like a experiment to see who could take the worst video game design decisions and put them together in the most annoying way possible. Basically, the game consists of one ghost samurai (that's you), traveling through several different areas of some land, slicing up monsters and bosses along the way. A horizontally scrolling jump-and-slasher, you might venture to say. Unfortunately that's where the fun stops. The entire game focuses on you mashing the attack button hoping that you can hit the enemies. But you can't, the enemies are just too hard to hit. Worse yet, it's extremely easy to die in the game, so expect to replay the same boring levels time and time again. It doesn't matter that the game features unlimited continues, after you've died three or four times you'll just want to turn the system off and forget that you endured playing such a horrible action game. Perhaps the best thing I can say about this game is that it's not the worst game in the series, the prequel, Genji and Heike Clans, is actually a far worse action game. So I guess the moral of the story is that you should be happy with what you have, because we could be getting an even worse 2D action game. I shudder to think.

Does It Still Hold Up? Not even a little bit. The biggest problem with Samurai Ghost is the crummy control scheme, which isn't effective for the type of enemies you're forced to fight. Unfortunately the terrible control is the least of the problems; you also have to put up with terrible level designs and repetitive enemies that never give you a moment to breath. You might think that there's a lot of potential in a game called Samurai Ghost, but I'm afraid it's all for naught.

Is It Worth The Money? This is the kind of game that gives all TurboDuo games a bad name. Samurai Ghost is a complete waste of time, it's the kind of action game that is not only hard to look at but also hard to play. Worse yet, at no point is the game actually fun. With so many amazing TurboDuo games yet to be uploaded to the Virtual Console it makes me wonder why Nintendo chose this of all games. Avoid this game at all cost, no matter how much you like ghosts and samurais.

Every week I plan on taking a look at the classic games being uploaded on the GameTap service. Regardless of whether it's part of their free or premium service, GameTap offers a wide variety of old school games that is worth checking out. Here are the most recent games uploaded to their server, keep in mind that all of these games are free to play starting today:

Cannon Fodder (Genesis) - Cannon Fodder (Genesis) - Think Cannon Fodder and Manhunt 2 have nothing in common? Believe it or not, when Cannon Fodder was first released (on the Commodore Amiga) it was regarded as one of the most violent games of all time. Flash forward 13 years and we get Manhunt 2, one of the most violent games of all time. Both on the same week. Is this a coincidence? Yeah, it probably is, but that shouldn't keep you from enjoying one of the greatest war games of all time. This is Cannon Fodder, a crazy action game where you control a squad of bloodthirsty warriors who are ready to turn their enemies into nothing more than bloody bodies. After going back and playing through this game again I was surprised at how well the game has held up, especially considering the age. The graphics may be small, but there's a lot of big action to be found in Cannon Fodder. My only complaint would be that GameTap is emulating the Genesis version; I would have preferred one of the computer-based versions of the game. But that's just a minor problem, nothing you can't overcome with some senseless ultra-violence.